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TheHumanTorchWasDeniedABankLoa
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Name: Ryan
Country: United States
State: Texas
Metro: Dallas
Birthday: 7/27/1900
Gender: Male
Interests: listening to some good music, hanging out with my friends, road trips, midnight walks, acting, watching terrifying movies in big groups, grey's anatomy, spending time with the family
Expertise: lots of it.
Occupation: Government
Industry: Construction
Message: message me
AIM:  robbythepenguin
Member Since:
6/12/2005
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| i cant fucking believe myself. im right the fuck back at where i was two years ago. i am such a dumbass. i hate when people fuck with your heart. it sucks. just give it up. i give in. fuck. | | |
| Last night i had the best drunk texing session. It might have been a huge mistake but i dont even care. Ive been waiting for those words for so many years.
ugh
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| Hey there xanga.com! It has almost been an entire year since last i posted on this here xanga. CrAzY.
Well I'm not even exactly sure what to say... so much has happened. I guess I could talk about some exciting new development in my life. I'm now officially out of the closet and I could't be more thrilled. It has been such a release to go off to school and not have to live this secret, double life. I'm actually even in an open relationship with a wonderful guy name Paul Sabala. He is a junior Musical Theatre major at OU with me and he is my other half. I am in love. For the first time in my life I am actually in love with someone and have them love me in return. It's an surreal feeling. It has been 7 months. seven. holy shit. haha Oh its good.
Okay that's annoying, so what else... Oh I am very happy at OU. The people are caring and talented and I love them all very much. It's strange to think how my life has taken this drastic turn in the right direction (for once). I recognize how emo sounding that actually is.. but it's the truth. High school is just a very difficult time and it can be hard and confusing as to who you are. Now I'm finally realizing who I actually...am. hmm.
Don't get me wrong though, I still love and want to keep up with some of those high school ties...
Thats enough for now.
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| as the summer goes flying by i find myself stuck in this black hole. we go through life trying to make ourselves as happy as we possibly can. and sometime, we fail miserably.
i am the type of person that absolutly cant stand it when people are mad or upset with me. when i get into a tiff with someone i always seem to brush it off and move on. well not this time. ive fucked up. i usually can stay balanced when in a rough patch, but not his time. i have finally realized that i am not bullet proof. i cant go around saying what i want to say to make ME feel better. you end up hurting more people than yourself. tonight i hit one of the hardest brick walls of my life. one that i may not ever be able to repair. but that is the price i pay. tonoght a friendship that ment the world to me has just shut its door. and im not exactly sure if i will ever be let back in. and that absolutly kills me.
but there is some good out of it all. i have learned about myself. that im not bullet proof. my words can hurt. i cant go around doing whatever i please and forget what matters most: my friends.
tonight, i sit at this computer completly broken. your going to start seeing a different person now.
im so sorry. | | |
| so ive decided. if you havent seen The Holiday... you need to. lol i know that sounds so gay but you do. mainly because the first half of the movie IS ,in some way, everyone's life. i know its mine.
ahhh. unrequited love. how i hate you. | | |
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